I don’t write much anymore. I kind of don’t like repetition… And I feel like 90% of the time my posts are depressing….
And because Feeling like crap is a constant at the moment.
Don’t get me wrong I’m still a fairly happy person, I’m happy every day. But I’m also miserable every day. Sometimes for no reason at all, or sometimes because someone’s innocent questions makes my body ache.
I think everyone in the ever growing TTC group dread the questions.. the ‘come on you have been married for six years now,when are you going to start a family’ questions? most of the time it kind of makes me want to rip their face off for their ignorance – I promise I’m not really a violent person – but today I just feel hurt, I feel like I could shake them and scream that. They. Should. Know. Better.
I got asked today. I got asked what was taking us so long? I got asked why we would wait 6 years if I did want children?
My answer was pure honesty – I replied that of course I want children, I would have ten…. I did not add on ….If I could.
I didn’t add on that you asking me these question burns me to the core. I didn’t add on that your stupid questions have today emotionally set me back about 6 months. I did not add on that every time I get asked or every time I see a baby bump or a pregnancy announcement, it’s another punch to the chest. I did not tell you That you have left me feeling sore and tender and bruised.
That all the time, I feel sore and tender and bruised.
Being infertile leaves me invisibly black and blue.