childish

Does any one else feel childless?

Oppsss!  Childish! Does any one else feel childish?

I look at my friends the ones that have families as well as the ones that have decided they are not ready yet. They all seem……. well…  they all just seem so together ..

I know no one knows what’s going on behind closed doors but I watch them and they all seem to know where they are heading and I’m still lost…. or possibly not lost, just having a tantrum on the scale of maturity while everyone awkwardly steps over me while averting their eyes…

We got a new car, by default really, ours broke down and long story short – *ping* New car.
It’s nothing overly special, it’s not grand or flash but it gets the job done. All my adult life I have had sort of ‘teenage cars’ if you know what I mean…., my dad would call them tin cars – he would rave that if I ever have a car accident that it wouldn’t protect us, it would just crush. My new car feels sturdy. My new car feels like a grown ups car…

I always said that as long as I dealt with my responsibilities first, then it didn’t matter if I acted grown up or not. I could be as reckless as I liked. Or stay in bed till noon. That I don’t have to act like an adult until I am one.

Now I am one.
Now I act like one.
I Am an adult….
And it sucks.
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Will I ever feel like a grown up if I never have kids?

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