Labor Pains

My friend is in labor as I write.

I’m excited for her and can’t wait to meet the little guy when I visit them (Hopefully) this evening, but right now I have had to take a little time out to be sad. I have given myself 30 minutes.

30 Minutes to grieve what I don’t have and what I will never do. I hope I will be forgiven for taking this time for me when someone I love needs more than I do.

I’m Hurting for all the experiences that I will miss out on.

I’m ready for all the pain to go now, I’m desperate to just move the frick on. I Don’t want to hurt anymore and I don’t want to feel selfish for having to take 30 minutes to cry in the bathroom and I don’t want to feel this way about experience’s that are so, so special and important like… erm.. a birth.

When My 30 minutes are nearing an end and the tears are drying, I will force my self to move and get back to my day and I suppose take it how it comes. I know a little later I will be ecstatic for her, so I guess I will just wait for that…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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7 comments

  1. It’s hard. my best friend had a baby 3 weeks after my third miscarriage. It took me a long time to come around after that. You’re allowed to grieve if you need to. There is nothing wrong with taking more than 30 minutes!

  2. Be gentle with yourself. You’re not being selfish – it’s important to give yourself chance to feel how you feel. And if that takes longer than 30 minutes, it doesn’t mean you’re a bad friend, or that you don’t want others to be happy. I think sometimes we have to put our own needs first, in order to be able to deal with hard situations such as this.
    Thinking about you xx

  3. Felt bad clicking ‘like’ on this. I think it is important to take time to grieve for that which you don’t have and want most. Even if others think it is inappropriate I don’t care because I do it and you do it and so therefore it is okay 🙂
    Honestly I think it is a completely natural response. It is not that you are begrudging her this amazing experience, you are just aching because you want so much to have this experience too.
    So take your time, have a kit kat, a cup of tea, a good cry and then get up and go and do something for you. I usually choose gardening 🙂 Planting new seeds.

  4. I think 30 minutes is a tiny amount of time which you should absolutely not feel guilty about – take add much time as you need. It doesn’t mean you’re not happy for them, it’s ok to be sad for yourself xxx

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