Grizzly..

My husband and I have been fighting all week, Its rough.

The biggest of our many arguments was about this up coming baby shower I have been planning for a friend..

The  end line of it was that I have put far too much effort….. and money into it. Its True, I have – and I knew I would when I agreed to do it in the first place.

I asked my darling husband when was the last time I did anything, Ever, when I did not put 100% into it? And also told him that I really didn’t i think I needed to explain myself.

Then – I got sad instead of mad.

I was devastated when I realised he did not understand.  That I needed to explain to him that if I cannot cope with a baby of a friend –  how would I ever cope with with a baby of a relative? Or A sister?

I Know he doesn’t want to hurt me but his ignorance on this is driving me insane.   My Feelings are hurt and I wish I could let go of the feelings but the one person that  I thought understood me inside out, doesn’t understand this??

Then I got mad again.

O.K So Now I am Being sulky and yes I am still mad, because I don’t understand how someone can get me so well 90% of the time and have a blind spot to this. This ?! We Have Been going through This for what seems like forever, and This he doesn’t get?

I am a little peeved I guess. Thank goodness its nearly over!

 

 

 

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10 comments

  1. I’m so sorry things are rough for you right now. This baby shower has been hanging over your head for a while now. I can imagine it is getting tougher to deal with as you get closer. I pray you’ll be able to get through this and that things will get better as you and your husband try and understand each other. It can be so hard during those times when we feel our spouses don’t understand or support us. (((Hugs)))

  2. That is tough, I hope things get better for you. Good for you for powering through the baby shower planning – I’m sure when it is done, you will feel a great sense of accomplishment for overcoming these emotional obstacles. Baby showers are hard for all infertile women, planning a baby shower when you are infertile is much harder – I know, I’ve done it. You are very strong!

  3. Big hugs. Hope your week gets better. You have to do what feels right and yeah maybe it’s cost a lot of time & money but if it’s important to you he will hopefully come to understand x

  4. I totally get the part about how can someone who gets you so well 90% of the time not get this! I feel like my OH has a blind spot to the emotions of my infertility too it’s the most frustrating thing in the world sometimes!! Xx sending u a hug….what an amazing friend you are to be doing such a nice baby shower when you are dealing with your own sad journey xx

  5. My Hubby does this too. I don’t think he understands how much this means to me. The fertility doc said we shouldn’t be drinking – I don’t drink, but he will have a few beers a week. That very same night he cracked a beer over dinner. I just felt… to be honest I felt like it was a joke to him. How do they not get how important this is to us? I have literally told him, “this means so much to me. You have no idea!”

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