Today was a difficult one for me.

While visiting my pregnant friend she grabbed my hand saying ‘quick the baby’s moving’ …  she placed my hand on her baby bump and I felt him move – it wasn’t a kick, if i didn’t know better I would have thought he was snuggling into my hand. I Couldn’t breath.  My heart was melting. It was the sweetest pain that left my hand feeling like it no longer belongs to me.

MY friend is beaming, Glowing, I have truly never seen her so happy. There was not one bit that I would wish away from her.

I’m Not in a Great place and ruined my diet by comforting my empty belly with a ton of chocolate….

….BUT I am NOT crumbling.

Progress? I Like to think so. I have an ache in my heart and I may have shed an invisible tear but I am still standing and will be tomorrow.

This is only one step, I know, but it finally it feels like I am facing the right way at least.




  1. I completely understand! I love that many friends have had babies recently, and I love watching their super cute little girls running around. But at the same time my heart aches every time. It’s getting better though, or at least a little easier to handle. Hang in there!

  2. Hey there – I was just thinking of you since I enjoy your blog so much and had not seen an update lately. I hope you are well and continuing to make some progress. Step by step. 🙂

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