Holiday Blues

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I haven’t posted in a few weeks because with Christmas fast approaching i have felt incredible low and to be honest very lonely, and i somtimes feel like a bad person if i unload all my sorrows and possibly some weepy moments on some poor, unsuspecting person that happens to come across  ..well..  me. I seem to have forgotten the whole reason i started a blog. I started this blog to help me release the pent up feelings and try learn to be honest with myself. 

So…

The reason i feel so lonely is not because of my husband he is amazing but its because through every tough place in my life i have had my girlfriends standing by my side and because i haven’t told them, they have no idea that i am struggling. This is the first Christmas that i have truly felt the loss, I spent 3 days putting up my decorations and making everything as close to perfect as it can be, but no matter what i do it feels pointless, i can’t have the one thing that makes It Christmas – Children. I spent 1/2 a day taking everything down. All that is left is a lonely looking Christmas tree, a wreath on the door and the saddest sight of all Two hanging stockings. 

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